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| so I was looking at last semester's SOPi dedications..
To the love of my Life: Hi, babe. So it’s kind of hard to believe that this is my last formal active in SOPi, but I’m really glad that you’re here with me as my date. I honestly never thought that I would find anyone (looking back on all of my rotten luck in the past). But through all of our ups and downs, you’ve shown me that love isn’t just limited to chick flicks (that I love and you hate :P). Thinking just now, I realized that I actually noticed you first at SOPi Presents—that’s why we were facebook friends before we were formally introduced at the beach retreat. I think that I saw something special in you at retreat; after all, how many male pledges/female actives do you see dating :] I know that I expected the same from you from other guys in my past—nothing at all. Look at my surprise when we started hanging out after retreat, and you just never left. Thank you for loving me unconditionally every day, and I hope that you know that I do as well. I know that I’m not the best girlfriend in the world, and that I can be unreasonable, and that’s why I’m grateful that you’re there for me no matter what I do. Someone as kind and attractive as you deserves the best girlfriend possible, and I’m trying to give you that. You could easily be (or just play around) with someone) that’s less troublesome, but you chose me J I enjoy all of our time together, doing whatever, or just sitting and watching a movie. Even if you don’t like my company 24/7, know that you’re going to be stuck with it :P Thank you for being patient with me (up to now, that is :P) I just hope that everything will turn out all right. I guess it’s like they say: “I’d rather fight with you than kiss someone else.” Regardless…I’m really glad that you came to the SOPi retreat last semester J Voicing something from last semester, I may not show it 99.9% of the time, but I’m really happy when you’re around. Here’s to the next 50 years-- Tofu & Onion “No returns, no exchanges.” “Ni ai wo”, but know that I will always ai ni<3
Heh.
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| Armin van Buuren- Fine Without You
"But the funny thing about love is, it can survive the circumstances of its end; we remember good times better than bad."
-Roger Ebert, reviewing the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I found this quote to be quite enlightening. I guess it's true- why else would people failed relationship after failed relationship continue to search? People keep looking for that special spark, and I guess eventually they'll find it. I think it's something like 95% of the population get married...but 50something% get divorced. I guess the point of these statistics is to really depend on yourself. After all, if you can't do that, there's no one that'll look out for you. Good news is that I finally didn't have any nightmares last night. And yet I'm still annoyed. Why is it that these gut feelings are still gnawing at me? I just know that I need to put it out of my mind because after all of this crap, it wouldn't be the same. And if it's true like all of my other ones...well. I have nothing to say on that.
Lovers turn into strangers, strangers turn into friends, friends turn into lovers...it's a vicious cycle. It's just the way that life is though. Maybe that's why Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind has such an intriguing concept. The technology to delete people from your memories? It's like extracting from the Harry Potter Pensieve...but cooler. I kinda can't help but hope that's available one day though. It'd be nice to not remember, since my memory is unfortunately terrific.
25 days though till Tiesto...I'm super excited!!! Especially with my favorite people :)
Aqualung- Brighter than Sunshine
Jack Johnson- Better Together
Maino- All The Above
UB40- Baby I Love Your Way
Chris Brown- Forever
John Mayer- Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Akon- Beautiful
ATB- Ecstasy
Rihanna- Hate That I Love You
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| So today we went to LeConte elementary to tutor little kids. My class is pretty cute, albeit rowdy for the hour. I said dejectedly today that I was old. These two little girls that decided to "adopt" me said that I was young-- they'd tell me when I started getting old (LOL -_-). It's so cute when you're that age. One of the eight year olds likes another one-- ah, young love. I guess it's mostly making fun of each other and bothering the other person, but it's pretty entertaining to watch.
I find myself missing the younger days- things were so much simpler then. Halloween crosswords, baking cookies- it's too bad that Berkeley wasn't like that huh :) Everything just gets harder...and more complicated.
But something definitely fun the last few days: making fun of my (similar height) pledge sis, and the Psi Chi Omega exchange last weekend! Definitely my favorites...hahah lil bro I love you<3
I remember back to junior year when we first started pledging...right after Presents, my pledge mom told me to call up Lawrence and Steven Hsiao. I remember thinking "why is she calling them my pledge bro and pledge dad?! what does that even mean?" All of AGC was so new, it was confusing. But honestly? I wouldn't have taken any of it back. I found the best people that are still in my life now, and I couldn't be more grateful to meet these people.....pledge sisters, pledge mom, big & lil sis, lil bros, grand lil bros...thank you for being such a memorable part of my life<3
SOPi is life
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| So I know that I said "no more AGC", but I just realized now that it's literally impossible. They're pretty much the only people that I've really talked to for the last two years, and trying to cut all...however many people is just not possible (nor logical). I realized that it's also pretty lonely if I just keep myself cooped up (though admittedly it seems like not many people are down to just drink or whatever anymore), but it's okay. I'm super excited for the Psi Chi x/c this Friday though...yeee<3
I'll figure things out like I always do.
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| So lately I've been listening to a lot more music-- and I just watched the latest episode of Glee. I don't know why I didn't bother trying out for more acapella groups while in Berkeley :( Gospel choir is fun, but it's not the same-- and I really prefer just more contemporary songs. Gahhhhhhhhhhhh why am I so retarded :( I feel like...I chose friendships over passion. AGC was really great-- I met some of the greatest friends (and bridesmaids!) that I could have ever asked for. But...there's a different feel to music.
Like with Crystal Children's Choir back in high school, I'd have to say that even those friendships were different. Aside from actually being friends, the thing that we all had in common was our love for music. To this day, those friendships are basically the few that I've kept from high school.
I guess that this is probably the only thing that I could've done over, looking back on college now. Aside from one more thing :)
Music is just...hauntingly beautiful. Honestly, just singing and listening to songs has such a calming effect. I guess it just makes me think a lot more. (As if that were possible...) Just one last thing? You asked me a few months ago if I really did think so. And in response...I really do. Against all logic and the odds stacked against it all, somehow I do.
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